Dating Decoded with Science

I’ve developed a habit of watching The Tyra Show every afternoon. Today’s episode was especially interesting. I found out my dating style is very scientific. It’s merely coincidence. I hardly believe it has anything to do with my science education.

Guest and author of Love Decoded, Andrew Trees, reveal the scientific explanation of a typical date. Below are questions that were asked on the show.

1. How should you greet each other?
a. Hug
b. Handshake
c. Friendly ‘hello’

2. What should you eat?
a. Pizza
b. Picnic
c. Romantic restaurant

3. What should the girl order?
a. Filet mignon
b. Pasta
c. Salad

4. What do you talk about?
a. Pop culture
b. Career
c. Literature

5. What do you do after the date?
a. Walk
b. Coffee
c. Drinks

6. If you are going to a movie, what movie should you watch?
a. Comedy
b. Horror
c. Chick flick

7. The ‘goodbye’
a. Hug
b. Handshake
c. Kiss

8. Who should pay on the first date?

There’s the scientific explanation from Trees and then there’s my take.

1. Andrew: handshake Me: Handshake
According to Trees, a handshake greeting gives the girl a feeling that her potential new boy is masculine and maybe even sporty. It was not surprising that most of the audience said ‘a hug.’ Maybe it’s just me, but firstly, I’m not a ‘huggy’ person. I don’t even hug my close girl friends. Secondly, hugging is an intimate thing. At a job interview, I wouldn’t hug my interviewer just because he/she is my potential new coworker. And because I don’t know you well, I don’t know if you’re a touchy-feely stalker. Let’s just keep it at the handshake until I know you better.

2. Andrew: Romantic restaurant Me: Romantic restaurant
The scientific reasoning is that going to a restaurant gives a sense of security—that the guy can provide for the girl. Also, the soft lighting will make the girl look more beautiful. Totally agree!

3. Andrew: Filet Mignon Me: pasta for lunch or filet mignon for dinner
Obviously, salad is definitely the wrong answer. I will pig out in front of a guy if I felt like it. But it’s not okay for vice versa. I will definitely not hesitate to order what I want at a restaurant. I will mind the price, don’t you worry about that.

4. Andrew: pop culture Me: career
I diverge a bit from the sciences here. Trees say pop culture is a safe subject. It’s a light and broad subject that both are able to comprehend and contribute to. Like choosing to go to a restaurant, I want a sense of security. I, at least, need to know that you have some kind of goal and you are doing something to reach towards your goal. It’s such a turn off if you don’t know what you want in life. This goes for everyone, not just my potential new boy.

5. Andrew: walk Me: walk
You just had a sat down meal and now you want to sit some more at a coffee shop? Walking is an easy way to digest the meal you just had, and supposedly, seeing bodies in motion makes them more attractive. I guess that’s true. For me, it’s more that the other choices were not very appealing. Walking gives me a chance to know the guy better. Notice their observations, it’ll tell you a lot about them.

6. Andrew: comedy Me: comedy
First of all, why would you go to a movie on a first date? And if you do, make sure you do it before dinner. Choose a comedy so both of you can have a good laugh. Watch them laugh. A person’s smile is definitely attractive.

7. Andrew: hug Me: hug
What is it about guys wanting a kiss at the end of the day? Now I know you’re not a stalker. We can hug, except this time you’re asking for a kiss. According to Trees, a 20 second hug is enough to trigger the brain’s pleasure center. A 20 second hug is a really long time. I might begin to think you’re a creeper.

8. Andrew: the guy Me: the guy
There is a rule stating that the person who is taking the other person out should pay. For the guy to pay, again, gives a sense of security to the girl.

Now you know I’m not the kind of girl to hug in the beginning and kiss at the end of the date, orders salad, or make you watch chick flicks. I don’t even eat salad. Do you find me attractive now?

There is one other dating rule I strictly follow: the first date should never be planned for more than 30 minutes. When I say coffee date, I literally mean coffee date. Why do I say 30 minutes? Half an hour should be enough time to get to know your date a little bit. If one of you feels like you are not having a good time, then the end of the 30 minutes gives you a chance to politely leave. If you are having a good time, then by all means, spend the whole day together.

No, you can not use this information to go out with me.

Happy dating!