Dating Decoded with Science

I’ve developed a habit of watching The Tyra Show every afternoon. Today’s episode was especially interesting. I found out my dating style is very scientific. It’s merely coincidence. I hardly believe it has anything to do with my science education.

Guest and author of Love Decoded, Andrew Trees, reveal the scientific explanation of a typical date. Below are questions that were asked on the show.

1. How should you greet each other?
a. Hug
b. Handshake
c. Friendly ‘hello’

2. What should you eat?
a. Pizza
b. Picnic
c. Romantic restaurant

3. What should the girl order?
a. Filet mignon
b. Pasta
c. Salad

4. What do you talk about?
a. Pop culture
b. Career
c. Literature

5. What do you do after the date?
a. Walk
b. Coffee
c. Drinks

6. If you are going to a movie, what movie should you watch?
a. Comedy
b. Horror
c. Chick flick

7. The ‘goodbye’
a. Hug
b. Handshake
c. Kiss

8. Who should pay on the first date?

There’s the scientific explanation from Trees and then there’s my take.

1. Andrew: handshake Me: Handshake
According to Trees, a handshake greeting gives the girl a feeling that her potential new boy is masculine and maybe even sporty. It was not surprising that most of the audience said ‘a hug.’ Maybe it’s just me, but firstly, I’m not a ‘huggy’ person. I don’t even hug my close girl friends. Secondly, hugging is an intimate thing. At a job interview, I wouldn’t hug my interviewer just because he/she is my potential new coworker. And because I don’t know you well, I don’t know if you’re a touchy-feely stalker. Let’s just keep it at the handshake until I know you better.

2. Andrew: Romantic restaurant Me: Romantic restaurant
The scientific reasoning is that going to a restaurant gives a sense of security—that the guy can provide for the girl. Also, the soft lighting will make the girl look more beautiful. Totally agree!

3. Andrew: Filet Mignon Me: pasta for lunch or filet mignon for dinner
Obviously, salad is definitely the wrong answer. I will pig out in front of a guy if I felt like it. But it’s not okay for vice versa. I will definitely not hesitate to order what I want at a restaurant. I will mind the price, don’t you worry about that.

4. Andrew: pop culture Me: career
I diverge a bit from the sciences here. Trees say pop culture is a safe subject. It’s a light and broad subject that both are able to comprehend and contribute to. Like choosing to go to a restaurant, I want a sense of security. I, at least, need to know that you have some kind of goal and you are doing something to reach towards your goal. It’s such a turn off if you don’t know what you want in life. This goes for everyone, not just my potential new boy.

5. Andrew: walk Me: walk
You just had a sat down meal and now you want to sit some more at a coffee shop? Walking is an easy way to digest the meal you just had, and supposedly, seeing bodies in motion makes them more attractive. I guess that’s true. For me, it’s more that the other choices were not very appealing. Walking gives me a chance to know the guy better. Notice their observations, it’ll tell you a lot about them.

6. Andrew: comedy Me: comedy
First of all, why would you go to a movie on a first date? And if you do, make sure you do it before dinner. Choose a comedy so both of you can have a good laugh. Watch them laugh. A person’s smile is definitely attractive.

7. Andrew: hug Me: hug
What is it about guys wanting a kiss at the end of the day? Now I know you’re not a stalker. We can hug, except this time you’re asking for a kiss. According to Trees, a 20 second hug is enough to trigger the brain’s pleasure center. A 20 second hug is a really long time. I might begin to think you’re a creeper.

8. Andrew: the guy Me: the guy
There is a rule stating that the person who is taking the other person out should pay. For the guy to pay, again, gives a sense of security to the girl.

Now you know I’m not the kind of girl to hug in the beginning and kiss at the end of the date, orders salad, or make you watch chick flicks. I don’t even eat salad. Do you find me attractive now?

There is one other dating rule I strictly follow: the first date should never be planned for more than 30 minutes. When I say coffee date, I literally mean coffee date. Why do I say 30 minutes? Half an hour should be enough time to get to know your date a little bit. If one of you feels like you are not having a good time, then the end of the 30 minutes gives you a chance to politely leave. If you are having a good time, then by all means, spend the whole day together.

No, you can not use this information to go out with me.

Happy dating!

Just Cannot Stay Away From the Internet

I am one of those people who go by the saying: if it’s not broken, don’t mess with it—for the most part anyway. I pride myself in being able to control temptations (except food); all I have to do is modify my mindset. When I go out shopping and I find a real cute dress, although not one that I absolutely must have, I tell myself I would come back for it when it goes on sale. I end up not going back for it because I don’t want to pay bus fare. I save myself at least $40.

Technology, as we know it today, is taking over our lives. We feel naked when we realize we left the house without our cell phones. Our nights revolve around the contents of TV Guide. Internet security is a rising concern.

Within the scope of people I know and interact with, I’ve noticed a trend in modern technology usage. People who live in the city tend to rely more on their computers, cell phones, and internet. On the other hand, people from the country do fine without being connected.

I gave up television when I went to college. I never got into the habit of pursuing certain shows anyway. There were a lot of other things going on. Studying was one of them, of course. Not having a TV is no big deal for me.

I can’t remember the days when not everyone had a cell phone. What did people do if they got stood up for a shopping date? I can go a few hours without my cell phone. I say hours because there are only a few certain circumstances where you don’t have your phone. For instance, your battery died because you underestimated your battery indicator. Before “smart phones,” I mainly use them for the time. It’s too much of a hassle to wear a watch; for one, it’s difficult for me to read analog.

The computer is a hard one to judge. I’m not a gamer, so I’m not so much as addicted to my computer as they are. I do need my computer for iTunes and Microsoft Word and Excel, but alternatives can easily be utilized. The computer is just more convenient.

As for the internet…*look away*. I admit defeat. All of you admit it too. You can’t survive more than two days without internet. The time you went camping or Las Vegas does not count. As I said earlier, I take pride in being able to resist almost all temptations. I’ve been living without internet for two weeks and counting. I thought I would be used to it by now; but I’m not. I scavenge any small amount of signal I can get. I’m almost desperate enough to drive five miles to the rest area to get wireless internet.

As city dwellers, we are underprivileged. We know everything that is happening around the world, but we don’t know what’s going on in our homes, literally. Although it’s killing me not to be connected to the global community, I take this opportunity to cultivate domestic skills, hone my talents, and self-teach myself things I would’ve never been able to learn with all the distractions.

Revisiting Human Nature: Review of Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels

It took me three attempts and a month to recount Gulliver’s lifetime travels.

I started reading this when I was 13 years old. I never got past the Lilliputians.

I finally decided to give Gulliver’s Travels another try. I thought to myself “maybe I was just too young to appreciate Swift.”

Through my perseverance, I found that Swift’s work is brilliant. It is simple yet complex at the same time. As many of you know, Gulliver’s Travels is famously known for its satire of the human nature. Each of the inhabitants of Gulliver’s destination has contrasting characteristics/traits of the preceding destination. Gulliver is big/small/sensible/ignorant, the countries are complex/simple/scientific/natural, and forms of Government are worse/better/worse/better than England's. Gulliver's view between parts contrasts with its other coinciding part — Gulliver sees the tiny Lilliputians as being vicious and unscrupulous, and then the king of Brobdingnag sees Europe in exactly the same light. Gulliver sees the Laputians as unreasonable, and Gulliver's Houyhnhnm master sees humanity as equally so.

I was about to stop reading because the plot became repetitive. Gulliver would set out on a voyage and meet with some misfortune that causes him to land in these strange territories. He takes residence for a large amount of time in each locale while learning the population’s traditions and language. By some absurd manner, Gulliver always finds a way back to England.

The first two parts were not too interesting. However, one’s perspective on things become extremely distorted depending on your relative size to the environment. In Gulliver’s case, being a minute organism compared to the dwellers in Brobdingnang brought him to realize the repulsiveness of the physical human feature. He was small enough to see the unevenness of the Brobdingnangians skin caused by the pores. He was also small enough to see the excrement flies leave behind. If I experienced what Gulliver has seen, I would immediately become embarrassed. I can imagine the Lilliputians feeling just as disgusted. Also, be very conscious of where flies are landing.

I am glad I continued reading. The found the third part very meaningful and thought-provoking, and hilarious. The unreasonableness of the inhabitants of Lagado makes it very amusing. Gulliver visits an academy established to develop new theories on agriculture and construction and to initiate projects to improve the lives of the city’s inhabitants. However, the theories have never produced any results and the new techniques have left the country in ruins. Gulliver meets a scientist trying to turn excrement back into food, an architect trying to build a house from the roof down, and an agronomist designing a method of plowing fields with hogs by first burying food in the ground and then letting the hogs loose to dig it out.

In Luggnagg, Gulliver was introduced to struldbrugs, immortal ones who are forever old rather than forever young. When asked what he thought life would be like if he was a struldbrug, Gulliver answers by saying he would try to obtain all riches and knowledge. However, the king of Luggnagg advises Gulliver that being immortal is a curse rather than a godsend.

Before reading Gulliver’s response, I knew that would be his response. That would be the typical response of the majority of people. I remember having a similar discussion as we were reading Natalie Babbitt’s Tuck Everlasting in middle school. Would I want to live forever? I would have said yes back then, but now I would not want to live forever. Death is like a deadline. You would not live your life to the fullest or accomplish anything if you knew you had all the time in the world. This begs for another question and a topic for another time: why wealth and knowledge?

The last part was also very serious. In the country of the Houyhnhnms, horses are the master race and human-like creatures, called Yahoos, are the subordinates. The horses were skeptical about Gulliver as he looked exactly like the Yahoos, except with clothes on. However, he is eventually taken in by the horse household after exhibiting some notion of reason. As time goes by, Gulliver comes to both admire and emulate the Houyhnhnms and their lifestyle, and rejects the human race as merely Yahoos. He returns to England. However, he is unable to reconcile himself to living among Yahoos; he becomes a recluse, remaining in his house, largely avoiding his family and his wife, and spending several hours a day speaking with the horses in his stables.

This is the only book I’ve ever read that incited such contemplation. The main point of Swift’s novel is not to recount Gulliver’s voyages, but to view the transformation of Gulliver’s character as he journey’s from place to place. He progresses from a cheery optimist at the start of the first part to the pompous misanthrope of the book's conclusion. Every interaction had an impact on Gulliver’s attitude towards humanity; just as every interaction we have with others effect our behavior.